I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
