and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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