a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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