got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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