I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
