my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
