this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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