drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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