at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
