I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
