2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
