There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
