I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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