i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
