Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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