There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
