apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
