Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
