No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
