Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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