He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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