This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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