This girl is more easily done than said...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
