He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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