Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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