Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
