it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize