My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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