id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
