omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Randomize
