if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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