fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
