Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
