can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
