i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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