i wish my penis had a tongue
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Randomize