I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
