how do flat chested girls get laid?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize