the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
