I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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