Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
