sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
