yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
