You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
