dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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