Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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