i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
