Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
