and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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