that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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