scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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