I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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