I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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