I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
