Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize