She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
