remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
