making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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