I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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