somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
