So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
