Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
