I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
