you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
