Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
