Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
