He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
