If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
