Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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