I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
