she was so not down for the gang bang
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
