Fuck appropriateness.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
