my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
