If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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