The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
