there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
