You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
