she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize